(Are you)…Ready for it?

I recently sent a text message to one of my friend groups about how I was struggling to understand my 15-year-old daughter. Her group of girlfriends couldn’t be any sweeter and most of them have been friends since elementary school. But the involvement of social media and strange new verbiage taking over the English language is very unfamiliar territory to me. Because being called a “baddie” is apparently a good thing? 

As Homecoming approached the final decision on her dress (six…we had six dresses total) was made, the dinner spot changed a few times, there was stress about where the group should take pictures, and I needed to schedule her spray tan appointment. (Pausing for dramatic effect or incase you need to go back and clarify that I am in fact talking about Homecoming and not a wedding.)

I always wanted a daughter and envisioned her as this wild, free-spirited and outspoken little girl. But I’d also be able to braid her hair, dress her in the cutest clothes, and basically have a bestie for life. Then, somehow all of the insecurities I faced as a teenager, started to resurface as she entered high school. There was suddenly this quest to not be like Regina George’s mother; to find a balance between being the “cool mom” but still firm on expectations. I desperately wanted to connect with her. 

I did my best to get presale tickets to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, but I failed. I was sorry that we wouldn’t be able to relive one of our most favorite nights together from 2016. When Taylor (I feel I can call her that now) released the dates and tickets to her 2024 final U.S. leg of the tour, I put my pride (and sanity) aside and spent the equivalent amount of a mortgage payment on concert tickets. We were going to Miami. Happy 15th birthday, Grace, seven months later. 

The excitement we experienced together as the concert date approached was a bond our relationship so badly needed. We created a playlist of songs and listened to it every time we were in the car together. We started planning our outfits (both epic fails two days before the concert) and then spent the day of the concert shopping in a mall outside of Miramar to salvage our concert looks. 

We sang our hearts out that Friday night and as I reached out to squeeze her throughout the show, she squeezed me back. When the magic was over she turned to me and said, “thank you so, so much.” She wanted to be one of the last few to leave our section so we sat in our seats until stadium personnel started to linger…we got the hint. The bracelets we were given as we walked into the stadium (IYKYK) kept blinking well into the next morning and thankfully, made their way home in our checked bags. While the bracelets have since turned dark, the unbelievable experience I shared with my girl that night is still glowing strong. 

Throughout that weekend I made a couple of TikTok videos, a few SnapChat appearances, and helped her make decisions in Altar’d State. For 48 hours we got to experience each other as more than just a mother and a daughter; we were friends. I was able to learn more about the beautiful woman she’s growing up to be and she was able to see me as more than just her mom, earning a few more notches on the coolness meter when she turned and asked me during the show, “how do you know all the words to these songs?!” Fun fact baby girl, I’m a Swiftie. That night I remembered the beauty in being young and let my girl mom insecurities fade. 

We’ve been back from Miami for a couple of weeks and while there’s still a newfound closeness from our time together, reality has set back in now that the first grading period has come to an end. I’ve had to be that authoritative, nagging mom again and my street cred hasn’t prevented periodic eye rolling. Thankfully, I had her read this post and I’m back in the circle of acceptance. 

To all my girl moms…stay strong and keep making those friendship bracelets. Allow yourselves to reflect on the magical moments you’ve shared and continue to dream about the ones you’ve yet to make. 

-E